my little secret
by puffapod
Summary: it's basically the same story as homones don't lie but written in cuddys POV.


I was standing in the back of my office, facing the window. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't sure how I could tell him my little secret.

I did love him, that was a fact.

What other reason would there be for me tolerating everything he did.

I can't say that I always liked him. Although, he always makes me smile. And even though he was stubborn and self-centred. He was and still is the man I love.

We had had this one night together. It was the most amazing thing ever. I know he was totally wasted and that he didn't meant what he said that night. But for me it was the most amazing night ever.

He had just lost one of his patients. And if there is one thing he cares about, than it's his patients.

People may think that he doesn't care, but he does. He wants to safe everybody. Even if it means going beyond the ethical.

Anyway, that night he had lost one of his patients and he had gone to his favourite pub. I don't know why but apparently he thought that getting drunk would make his life a little less miserable.

I don't know how much he had drunk before he called me. But he called me to say that the barman had taken his keys. Normally he would call Wilson for this. But he was on a congress in Denmark.

I packed my stuff and went to get him. I would do everything for him, and maybe that's just pathetic, I don't know. I just love him with all my heart.

When I got there, he was still drinking his whisky. He called me over and ordered a martini for me. I didn't want to drink but he promised me that he'd come home if I just took this one drink.

'I bet you, that you don't dare to kiss me.' He had said stumbling all over his words.

'What are you talking about House? You're drunk. Let's get you home.' I said trying to avoid his bet.

'No!' he mumbled. 'You have to kiss me first.' He looked at me with his pale blue eyes.

'Oh whatever I said' and gave him a swift kiss.

'Wow you're kisses are even better than your breast' he had commented. I ignored his comments and started walking.

'Ho - old it' he said. 'I'm coming with you'.

I waited on him and took him to crash in my place.

When we got home he looked at me and started kissing me. I pulled him away at first, but his beautiful eyes and his firm grip didn't let go.

All I can say is that we ended in bed.

When he woke up the next morning, he acted as if he couldn't remember a thing.

I'm not sure whether it is true or not. All I know is that I wished that that moment was forever. That time had stopped going on and that we would always be trapped on that single moment.

For now, I had to talk to him. I had to tell him my little secret. He had to know the truth. He even had to know it before anyone else. It was his right to know.

I had been looking for him everywhere but hadn't succeeded in finding him. At the end, out of pure misery I called Wilson to help me find him.

He didn't call me back so I assumed he didn't find him, or he found him but House didn't want to come.

I went to emergency because House should be working there. I knew he wasn't working because Cameron had called me for that. I could only do as much as help a bit instead of him.

I know a normal supervisor shouldn't be doing her doctors work, but it was House, what else could I do?

I went down and almost fell down. He was sitting there, acting as if nothing was going on. Just sitting in his chair, watching how the others were working.

I told him I wanted to talk with him and that I needed him to come with me to my office. He looked at me with his pale blue eyes, playing every move that he could.

'Why can't we talk here' he asked with his know-it-all-better voice.

'Just come with me' I begged and to my own astonishment, he followed. He didn't follow immediately though, he started at my bottom, as always. I kind off do like it when he does that. It just gives me a bit hope that maybe he likes me.

Once we were in my office, I turned to him. I looked in his pale blue eyes and just rambled out the words.

'Do you remember, that one night?' _common House you know what I'm talking about. _ I hoped with all my heart that he wouldn't make me tell everything about that night.

He just looked at me puzzled. He inhaled deeply and then just said 'Yes, I do'

'Well, I'm pregnant House; I'm expecting a son, your son.'

House looked at me as if I'd just killed somebody.

_Oh please house don't make me raise this kid on my own _

'You don't have to do anything you know; I can raise it all by myself. I just wanted you to know this before rumours start.' I just stumbled the words out. I knew I didn't mean any of them and I started crying. I can't exactly tell why the tears started rolling from my eyes, they just did.

I don't know how long it took him to realize what was going on. All I know is that after a couple of minutes he was standing very close to me. His pale blue eyes looking in mine. He wept the tears from my face, leant in and kissed me.

And all I could hear were his words zooming in my ears.  
'I love you Cuddy. I always have and always will. Just as I will love our son.'


End file.
